Filling Holidays With Cycling

The end of a long vacation is definitely the time to look forward. Various activities can not be done because of the limited time, you can realize at the holidays. And instead of lazing and eating constantly, why not try biking?
Sport bikes popular in many major cities, including Jakarta. One sport can be enjoyed by people of all walks. Starting from the director until a regular employee. Why? Since you only need a bike.
In addition to enjoying the scenery during cycling, fatty deposits in the body can also be erased. Exercise bike is one of the most effective exercise to burn calories.
Cycling at a moderate pace (about 20-25 km / hour) can burn calories a woman weighing 58 kg up to 312 calories in half an hour. A man weighing 77 kg can even burn up to 408 calories in the same time.
Another benefit of this exercise is to train the muscles of the body, especially the muscles of the leg. You can adjust your bike pedaling pace. Pedal faster in a rather quiet street, but more slowly in the streets a little crowded.
For best results, kayuhlah by using the ball of your foot. Think of it as a swing swing play, not a top-down movement.
If you want to get a greater benefit, for example, to add strength to the body, there are three ways you can do. The first one, you can ride farther distances and higher speeds. Second, you can increase strength by cycling on a hilly road and downwind. Lastly, you can try cycling to carry the load.
The secret to get more cycling At first, you may just be cycling for short distances. But to be able to cover longer distances, you need to have payments. Try to increase your mileage gradually, for example, one kilometer at a time.
For speed, vary the speed of your stroke. Mengayuhlah over backwards for 20-30 seconds, then slowed for 20 - 30 seconds later. Similarly repeatedly.
Do not forget to stretch before. By doing stretches for the neck muscles, arms, back and shoulders, you can reduce the accumulated fatigue after cycling. Do it also for the lower body.
You can also stretch during a long journey on a bicycle. Remember, do not get stuck in the uncomfortable position of sitting in the saddle, especially during a long journey.

10 Ways to Sharpen Memory

Who says alias can not remember the forgotten disease that only the consumption of the elderly. Since they are still young can be forgetful alias tulalit disease like the older ones. Shame the same sort tulalit girlfriend? Many factors have to be the culprit forgetfulness disturbances, ranging from food consumed, piling work and other busy-busy. Not to mention the familiarity of young people with a range of modern technological devices. Mobile phones, computers, e-mail and the Internet, touted as a technological tool that can force the body and brain to keep working for 24 hours. Well, the hustle-bustle of activity is exactly what is said can lead to loss of the brain's ability to remember. However, the disorder is still able to overcome forgetfulness, really. By following these few simple tips, hopefully these forgotten diseases can be avoided:
1. Focus on listening and less talking. Because, the hearing will encourage us to concentrate more.
2. Discipline dieting. A healthy diet by consuming foods rich in protein, as well as fruit and vegetables, will provide an injection of 'power' for the brain.
3. Try to reduce or even possibly to avoid association with those who are always negative. Instead always develop positive thinking. Because of positive thinking can stimulate the brain works.
4. Avoid high fat foods. Because these fats can clog the arteries that supply blood to the brain center.
5. Read, read, and read. Lots of reading punctuated by playing puzzle is an excellent exercise for the brain. Therefore, fill your leisure time with a variety of reading materials, from fiction to severe though it's nothing really.
6. Take vitamins, especially vitamin E and zinc supplements containing element. Various studies indicate that the two elements can help slow the aging process and improve memory skills.
7. Do not drink alcohol to excess. Too much alcohol will supposedly kill brain cells slowly, you know.
8. Plan activities are always interacting with others. Because the name is said to be sociable dispel lazy brain.
9. Avoid taking medications that are not necessary. Lose weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol in the body is sometimes more effective than diet and exercise medicine. In addition, try to learn and know the side effects of the medications you are taking. Sleeping pills, for example, reportedly can cause memory loss.
10. Try to schedule regular exercise in your agenda. Because these activities can enhance blood circulation to the brain.
Well, good luck let me not another quipped, "It's really forgetful young anyway".

In order to Fitness Program Not Useless

In order to Fitness Program Not UselessWant to get fit and have the right body does require effort. This requirement applies both to those who have been exercising for so long and are just beginning. But if you've made up my mind, it helps you to know some of the factors that can hinder your success to have the ideal body shape.
Practicing too hardDo you know the cause of the greatest sports injury? Over-exert yourself to the body is not able to, that's the answer. It is human nature if you want to get something in a quick way. However, this fast-paced principle can not be applied to your body. Learn to differentiate between soreness or fatigue and injury. How do I prevent injury? It's simple. Each time you exercise, warm up and stretch before.
Embarrassed to askAmid the flood of information on training and fitness equipment that looks bizarre, do not be shy to ask. If you are in a gym, there's the coach who can give advice or create an exercise program for you. Follow the program was to be patient, do not rush. When you practice alone, seek information from friends, books or the Internet.
Firm intentionWithout a strong spirit and intention, dream to get a fit body will soon be subverted by feeling lazy. Some people feel that exercise in the morning more enjoyable. They usually do jogging or weight training after waking. Others see the sport as a weapon to get rid of stress after work. No wonder they choose to work out in the afternoon. Find the time that works best for you.
BoredLearn from a child: The nice thing is never boring. Boredom can accompany any gym workout when you've lived for so long. So, vary your exercise form. Do not get into a routine. For example, you can use a different machine every time practicing or trying to follow other class or work out in the open air. You also can find a partner to practice in order to have someone to talk or to practice while listening to music via the walkman.
AimlessYou need to set your goals in detail. If so just thinner or more muscular, you will very likely do the exercises at random. It's better if you make a simple goal, do not be too detailed, but clear. For example: you want to have a strong arm. Note the development of the power and size of your arm muscles every 2 weeks. That way you can see the progress of your workout, and feel that all the hard work you did to no avail.

In order to Fitness Program Not Useless

In order to Fitness Program Not UselessWant to get fit and have the right body does require effort. This requirement applies both to those who have been exercising for so long and are just beginning. But if you've made up my mind, it helps you to know some of the factors that can hinder your success to have the ideal body shape.
Practicing too hardDo you know the cause of the greatest sports injury? Over-exert yourself to the body is not able to, that's the answer. It is human nature if you want to get something in a quick way. However, this fast-paced principle can not be applied to your body. Learn to differentiate between soreness or fatigue and injury. How do I prevent injury? It's simple. Each time you exercise, warm up and stretch before.
Embarrassed to askAmid the flood of information on training and fitness equipment that looks bizarre, do not be shy to ask. If you are in a gym, there's the coach who can give advice or create an exercise program for you. Follow the program was to be patient, do not rush. When you practice alone, seek information from friends, books or the Internet.
Firm intentionWithout a strong spirit and intention, dream to get a fit body will soon be subverted by feeling lazy. Some people feel that exercise in the morning more enjoyable. They usually do jogging or weight training after waking. Others see the sport as a weapon to get rid of stress after work. No wonder they choose to work out in the afternoon. Find the time that works best for you.
BoredLearn from a child: The nice thing is never boring. Boredom can accompany any gym workout when you've lived for so long. So, vary your exercise form. Do not get into a routine. For example, you can use a different machine every time practicing or trying to follow other class or work out in the open air. You also can find a partner to practice in order to have someone to talk or to practice while listening to music via the walkman.
AimlessYou need to set your goals in detail. If so just thinner or more muscular, you will very likely do the exercises at random. It's better if you make a simple goal, do not be too detailed, but clear. For example: you want to have a strong arm. Note the development of the power and size of your arm muscles every 2 weeks. That way you can see the progress of your workout, and feel that all the hard work you did to no avail.

Tofu Can Lower Risk of Heart Disease Exposed

Who does not know know? Foods derived from soybeans is it can reduce heart disease. The people who replace the meat with tofu, decreased cholesterol and some other fatty substances in the blood called triglycerides. Also slow the rate of cholesterol 'bad' (LDL) is oxidized.

When LDL is oxidized or modified, more likely to lead to accumulation in the arteries and stuff it so that it can lead to heart disease. Indeed, people with heart disease have a terokidasi LDL levels are high in the blood.

Thus, by slowing down the amount of oxidized LDL cholesterol is expected to reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. Moreover, by replacing the meat with the same amount of protein such as tofu, very useful as a change of risk factors for coronary heart disease.

In the know there is a form of plant estrogen, which phytoestrogens, which can reduce the susceptibility of LDL to oxidation. This material contains antioxidants that are supposed to prevent oxidized cholesterol.

With a diet low in saturated fat, and the variety in foods such as vegetables and fruits reduces the risk of heart disease and obtaining ideal body weight. The use of products such as tofu and soy beans, can also help reduce fat consumption.

So that was published in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition.

How to Respond to Your Body Sports

When you tie your sneakers and walk out the door for a morning walk, or jump from the outskirts of the pool, then you're actually respond to command your conscious brain to the muscles harder. But that move, a number of changes will occur rapidly and automatically in your entire body.
Your muscles and work soon began to burn more energy to power their contraction. They do this by improving the process of converting oxygen and nutrients into ATP (the fuel used all of the cell) in each cell.
During aerobic activity undertaken on an ongoing basis such as brisk walking or running, your muscles may be used 15 to 25 times more energy than at rest, burn carbohydrates and fat stores in the mix around 50-50. During anaerobic (without air) is short and hard, like running 100 meters or short-distance swimming race across the length of the pool, your muscles may require up to 120 times more energy than the rest of time!
Your heart immediately began to beat faster to pump more blood to the muscles and other body tissues. During heavy exercise, your heart rate may be increased up to 150 times per minute or more (normal heart rate is 70-80 per minute at rest, for the average person).
This happens because once you start physical activity, the recipient nerve in the blood vessels, muscles and joints would imply the sympathetic nervous system to release epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine (nonadrelin) into the bloodstream. All of this happens quickly in order to speed up your heart rate. Indeed, the protective layer of the brain also play a role in the acceleration is where the experts have found that the heart rate began to beat faster even before they start exercising because the brain has to anticipate what will happen.
Although the average heart pumps about 5 liters of blood per day at rest, the amount may be increased up to 20 liters per minute during a hard workout. (The heart of trained athletes durability it can pump 40 liters per minute!).
The blood vessels are also undergoing rapid change as you start exercising. Because the nerve signals and chemical stimulation, relaxes the muscular wall of your arteries and causes the arteries dilate. At the same time, the edge shrinking veins forcing more blood into your circulation center. Smaller branch arteries leading to the muscle fibers also widened, while millions of capillaries that do not work (which supply blood directly to the fibers) will open. (At rest, only about one of 30 capillaries were open).
The result of all these changes is an increase in blood flow - which carry oxygen and essential nutrients - which by the swift flowing exercise your muscles, including the heart muscle receives more blood than during rest. Blood flow is maximized when every muscle relax, and stop when they contract and creates action 'milking' which helps pump blood to all parts of your body as you move.
Increased blood flow to the skin during mild exercise gives greater cooling effect (other than that, you will begin to sweat more). Meanwhile, the blood flow was taken away away from the kidney, liver, digestive system and other organs that are not directly involved in sporting activities.
Your lungs are also starting to breathe faster and more deeply so as to give your body more oxygen. This response is the result of a variety of stimuli including increased carbon dioxide in the blood (due to increasing use of residual oxygen), increased body temperature, and the message sent from the receiver senses chemical stimulation in your body. At break time, about 6.84 liters of air in and out of the lungs per minute. During hard training, this can be increased to 114 liters per minute.

Your metabolic rate - which depends on the number of calories you burn - increased between 4 to 20 times the normal rate of your metabolism, which depends on how heavy you are training.

Tips To Lower Blood Cholesterol

High blood cholesterol is a major factor that will lead to coronary heart disease and stroke. Cholesterol is found in many foods. To avoid this, experts suggest that we carefully select and process food. Precaution is actually not that difficult and complicated. Here are some tips suggested by experts:
Choose fish, poultry, meat and pure. Remove the first fat still attached. Total consumption of the recommended maximum is 6 ounces per day.
Reduce consumption of sausages and other processed meats are high fat content.
Limit consumption of organ innards (offal), such as the liver, kidneys, or brain.
Reduce drinking whole milk or cream and skim milk beralihkan to (low-fat). Also, choose fat-free yogurt and cheese or low fat.
Avoid eating butter, but use liquid margarine or liquid vegetable oils containing saturated fat double-and single-saturated. Upayakanlah reduce the consumption of fats and oils.
Limit eating egg yolks. While the egg whites are often eaten as it contains no fat or cholesterol.
Eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, as well as cereals, breads, rice, and pasta are prepared from whole grains.
Avoid fried foods serve, but beralihkan the baked and boiled foods.
Liquid vegetable oil is excellent for sauteing vegetables, frying and baking cakes and other foods. \
Many packaged foods sold in stores contains high levels of saturated fat. Read the label and choose products that contain saturated fat and cholesterol levels are lowest.
When preparing the dish, so that the material upayakanlah balanced and healthy diet consists of the following groups: bread, cereal, rice and pasta (6-11 servings per day), vegetables (3-5 servings per day), fruits (2-4 servings per day), milk, yogurt and cheese (2-3 servings per day), and meat, poultry, fish, eggs, nuts, and grains (2-3 servings per day). Upayakanlah consume fats, oils and sweets as little as possible.

Healthy Eating Tips

By: Halim Nur
One powerful way to keep your health is to determine the type of food and proper diet. However, a healthy diet will not help if it is not practiced. For that, an expert give some tips on how your family should eat and how to put it into practice:
Snacks should be eaten only when hungry. Actually, this snack is not something that is not good. We also need it so that total calorie consumption is not only obtained during a formal meal. However, the desire to eat it without calculation should be avoided and people should always choose the kind of healthy snacks. For example, a piece of cake with a glass of low-fat milk or the occasional piece of chocolate will actually nourish the body.
The meat should not be served more than other foods. You see, most of the cholesterol and saturated fat from meat. Instead, try eating more foods consisting of seeds, nuts, fruits and vegetables. For example, the pasta will be more healthful than meat spaghetti sauce mix. If eating meat, should people choose pure meat (lean) or chicken breast without skin.
Be careful also with food products are often called low fat. This can help lower the total fat in the diet. However, do not misunderstand that even the source of calories lost. The key is a balanced measure. Therefore, read the labels of food products with great care to check the fat content.
Consider packaging dairy products. These products such as milk powder and cheese can be a source of fat and cholesterol is very high. Even milk with a fat content of 2% which is considered a low-fat diet still contains 5 grams of fat per cup. Therefore, look for foods that actually contain very little fat or none at all.
Never forget the fiber. Fiber is a very important part in a healthy diet. The recommended daily fiber intake is twenty to thirty-five grams for adults. For that, eat more fruits, beans and seeds are high in fiber bijianan.

Strong medication sperm in tomatoes

GASOLINE and there was a strong medication sperm in tomatoes. At least, that
Intense research scientists of medicine in India, which successfully
prove, tomato consumption greatly helped push the level of agility
sperm, even to improve the quality of sperm. Wah!

The researchers are members of the All India Institute of Medical
Sciences, New Delhi, India, as written by Reuters Health, involves
30 infertile men as respondents. The respondents were aged 23-45 years
it has a major problem revolves around the number, mobility, and shape
abnormal sperm. Problems that make them unable
fertilize eggs partner.
Research led by Rajeev Kumar and N.P. Gupta was-both expert
urology-started from the fact that testicular sperm-producing organs-man
fertile containing lycopene (lycopene). Another fact, the compound lycopene
is one of the 650 types of provitamin A (carotenoids) that very few
found in the testes of infertile men. Lycopene is the compound itself
are found mainly in tomatoes, grapes, watermelon, and shellfish.
Over the past three months, respondents taking two milligrams of lycopene twice daily.
As a result, an increase in the number and activity of sperm in 21 respondents.
The structure of sperm in 63 percent of the respondents also improved. In fact, the pair
six respondents reported being pregnant after the research is over.
How can it be explained? Kumar admitted not understand the link
Physiological between lycopene and male fertility. However, investigators emphasized
that there was no harm to boost the consumption of natural sources of lycopene to
improve the quality of sperm. In other words, we also could not hurt,
began trying to prey on tomato or watermelon as much as possible, so that
sperm into a fast runner and superb sound

BAB II (Belum Revisi)

BAB II

TINJAUAN PUSTAKA

2.1        Konsep Pola Asuh Keluarga

         Pola asuh adalah pola orang tua dalam berinteraksi dengan anak-anaknya dalam memenuhi kebutuhan, memberi perlindungan dan mendidik anak dalam kehidupan sehari-hari (Baumrind, 2003). Sedangkan menurut Maichati (dalam Sayuti, 1993) menjelaskan bahwa pola asuh merupakan sikap orang tua dalam berinteraksi dengan anak-anaknya. Sikap tersebut meliputi cara orangtua dalam memberikan aturan-aturan dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.

         Pola asuh orang tua adalah suatu pola atau sistem yang diterapkan dalam menjaga, merawat dan mendidik seorang anak yang bersifat relatif konsisten dari waktu ke waktu. Pola perilaku ini dapat dirasakan oleh anak dari segi positif atau negatif (Lien Laura, 1989).

         Para ahli mengemukakan (Gunarsa dan Gunarsa, 1995; Helm dan Turner, 1995; Papalia, Olds dan Feldmand, 1998) mengemukakan bahwa pola asuh dari orang tua amat mempengaruhi keperibadian dan perilaku anak. Baumrind, ahli psikologi perkembangan membagi pola asuh orang tua menjadi 3 yakni otoriter, permisif, dan demokratis:

1.    Pola asuh otoriter (parent oriented). Ciri-ciri dari pola asuh ini, menekankan segala aturan orang tua harus ditaati oleh anak. Orang tua bertindak semena-mena, tanpa dapat dikontrol oleh anak. Anak harus menurut dan tidak boleh membantah terhadap apa yang diperintahkan oleh orang tua. Dalam hal ini, anak seolah-oleh menjadi “robot”, sehingga ia kurang inisiatif, merasa takut, tidak percaya diri, pencemas, rendah diri, minder dalam pergaulan; tetapi disisi lain, anak bisa memberontak, nakal, atau melarikan diri dari kenyataan, misalnya dengan menggunakan narkoba (alchohol or drug abuse). Dari segi positifnya, anak yang didik dalam pola asuh ini, cenderung menjadi disiplin yakni mentaati peraturan. Akan tetapi bisa jadi, ia hanya mau menunjukkan kedisiplinan dihadapan orang tua, padahal di hatinya berbicara lain, sehingga ketika di belakang orang tua, anak bersikap dan bertindak lain. Hal itu tujuannya semata hanya untuk menyenangkan hati orang tua. Jadi anak cenderung memiliki kedisiplinan dan kepatuhan yang semu.

2.   Pola asuh permisif. Sifat pola asuh ini, childreen centered yakni segala aturan dan ketetapan keluarga ditangan anak. Apa yang dilakukan anak diperbolehkan orang tua. Orang tua menuruti segala kemauan anak. Anak cenderung bertindak sewena-wena, tanpa pengawasan orang tua. Ia bebas melakukan apa yang diinginkan. Dari sisi negatif lain, anak kurang  disiplin dengan aturan-aturan sosial yang berlaku. Bila anak mampu menggunakan kebebasan tersebut secara bertanggung jawab, maka anak akan menjadi seorang mandiri, kreatif, inisiatif dan mampu mewujudkan aktualisasinya.

3.   Pola asuh demokratis. Kedudukan antara anak dan orang tua sejajar. Suatu keputusan diambil bersama dengan memperhitungkan kedua belah pihak. Anak diberi kebebasan yang bertanggung jawab, artinya apa yang dilakukan oleh anak tetap harus berada dibawah pengawasan orang tua dan dapat dipertanggung jawabkan secara moral. Orang tua dan anak tidak dapat berbuat sewena-wena. Anak diberi kepercayaan dan dilatih untuk mempertanggung jawabkan tindakannya. Akibat positif dari pola asuh ini, anak akan menjadi seorang individu yang mempercayai orang lain, bertanggung jawab terhadap tindakan-tindakannya, tidak munafik, jujur. Namun akibat negatif, anak akan cenderung merongrong kewibawaan otoritas orang tua, kalu segala sesuatu harus dipertimbangkan antara anak-orang tua.

4.   Pola asuh situasional. Dalam kenyataannya, sering kali pola asuh tersebut ditetapkan secara kaku, artinya orang tua tidak menetapkan salah satu tipe pola asuh tersebut. Ada kemungkinan orang tua menerapkan secara fleksibel, luwes dan disesuaikan dengan situasi dan kondisi yang berlangsung pada saat itu. Sehingga sering kali munculah, tipe pola asuh situasional. Orang yang menerapkan pola asuh ini, tidak berdasarkan pada pola asuh tertentu, tetapi semua tipe tersebut diterapkan secara luwes.

        Sedangkan menurut E.B.Hurlock dalam Ihromi (2004), pola sisialisasi yang digunakan orang tua dalam mengasuh anak-anaknya adalah :

1.   Otoriter: anak tidak memperoleh kesempatan untuk mengendalikan perbuatan perbuatannya.

-          Orang tua memiliki kaidah kaidah dan peraturan yang kaku.

-          Setiap pelanggaran dikenakan hukuman.

-          Sedikit sekali atau tidak pernah ada pujian atau tanda tanda yang membenarkan tingkah laku anak apabila mereka melakasanakan aturan.

-          Tingkah laku anak dikekang secara kaku, tidak ada kebebasan berbuat kecuali sudah ditetapkan.

-          Orang tua menentukan bagaimana harus berbuat.

2.   Demokratis: Orang tua yang demokratis adalah orang tua yang berusaha untuk menumbuhkan kontrol diri dalam diri anak.

-          Orang tua menggunakan diskusi, penjelasan dan alasan yang membantu anak mengerti ia diminta mematuhi aturan.

-          Orang tua menekankan aspek pendidikan ketimbang aspek hukuman.

-          Hukuman tidak pernah kasar, dan hanya diberikan apabila anak sengaja menolak perbuatan yang harus ia lakukan.

-          Apabila perbuatan anak sesuai dan patut, orang tua memberi pujian.

3.   Permisif: pada pola ini pengawasan sangat longgar.

-          Orang tua bersikap membiarkan atau mengizinkan setiap tingkah laku anak.

-          Tidak pernah memberi hukuman.

-          Membiarkan anak mencari dan menemukan sendiri tata cara yang memberi batasan-batasan dari tingkah lakunya.

-          Pada saat terjadi hal yang berlebihan barulah orang tua bertindak.

Sedangkan menurut Maurice (1999), kesalahan orang tua menghadapi anak remaja adalah :

1.   Keterampilan orang tua mengasuh anak secara bebas/memanjakan.

Melihat masa remaja sebagai satu periode pemberontakan yang terhindarkan dan orang tua hanya memiliki sedikit kemampuan untuk mempengaruhi anak-anak belasan tahun, maka orang tua menerima dan memaafkan saja anak-anak muda yang berperilaku tidak bertanggung jawab. Orang tua yang serba membolehkan, menghindari konflik, karena mereka merasa tidak berdaya untuk mempengaruhi anak-anak. Akibatnya orang tua membiarkan saja aktivitas, seperti penyalahgunaan akkohol, obat-obatan terlarang, tidak menghormati wibawa, hak dan milik orang lain, kekejaman dan perlawanan. Kaum remaja mengartikan pendekatan yang serba boleh itu sebagai undangan untuk dapat berbuat semaunya. Orang tua kehilangan harga di mata anak-anak, karena mereka menganggapnya orang tua yang tidak berdaya, tidak cakap, memberikan bimbingan serta tidak mampu memelihara kesatuan dalam keluarga. Anak mulai kehilangan rasa hormat pada orang tua, tidak menghargai mereka dan menanti saja hingga anak-anak belasan tahun cukup tua untuk meninggalkan rumah.

2.   Keterampilan orang tua mengasuh anak secara otokratis.

Orang tua mempunyai kepercayaan bahwa orang tualah yang bertanggung jawab atas perilaku anak-anaknya; dapat bersikap begitu bila orang tua lebih efektif sebagai orang tua, dan anak remaja akan selalu berperilaku baik, orang tua yakin anak belasan tahun akan berpaling ke cara orang tua yang menghendaki dan ini merupakan tugas orang tua, untuk melaksanakan keyakinan, nilai-nilai, perilaku dan standar pada anak-anak remaja mereka. Orang tua yang bersifat memaksa mungkin pada awalnya berhasil selama anak menjelang remaja, namun anak-anak remaja sadar bahwa mereka memiliki kekuatan untuk bertahan, tidak akan bekerja sama dengan orang tua dan mulai mempraktikkan kekuatan itu dalam hal misalnya merokok, membolos sekolah, memilih teman, alkohol, menonton TV, dan aktivitas waktu senggang. Meningkatnya upaya orang tua untuk mengawasi anak-anak remaja melalui metode paksaan hanya mengandung perlawanan dan penarikan diri dan kerja sama.

Semua poroblem yang melibatkan orang tua dan anak berasal dari kesalahan relasi. Saling menghormati dan percaya membentuk relasi yang efektif di masyarakat zaman sekarang. Ciri-ciri relasi berdasarkan kesamaan dijelaskan oleh Dinkmeyer dan McKay dalam Maurice (1999) adalah sebagai berikut:

-          Saling memperlihatkan dan mengurus;

-          Empati terhadap masing-masing;

-          Berhasrat untuk mendengarkan satu dan yang lain;

-          Lebih melihat sifat yang bernilai dari pada kekurangannya;

-          Melaksanakan kerja sama dan keikutsertaan yang sama tingkatnya dalam memecahkan konflik.

-          Lebih baik mengungkapkan pikiran dan perasaan daripada menahan meledak menjadi kemarahan.

-          Saling mendukung dan menerima, bila orang tidak sempurna yang ada proses pertumbuhan,

2.1.1        Faktor-Faktor Yang Mempengaruhi Pola Asuh Orang Tua.

           Ada kecenderungan orang tua untuk lebih menyukai atau lebih sering menggunakan pola tertentu, yang dalam penggunaannya dipengaruhi oleh sejumlah faktor (Ihromi, 2004).

1.      Menyamakan diri dengan pola sosialisasi yang digunakan oleh orang tua mereka. Bila orang tua menganggap bahwa pola asuh orang tua mereka baik maka ketika mempunyai anak mereka kembali memakai pola asuh yang mereka terima. Bila menganggap pola asuh orang tua mereka dulu salah, biasanya mereka memakai pola yang berbeda. Misal dulu ia menerima pola asuh yang otoriter dari orang tua mereka, sekarang mereka menggunakan pola yang demokratis atau permisif pada anak-anaknya.

2.      Menyamakan pola yang dianggap paling baik oleh masyarakat sekitarnya, biasanya oleh orang tua yang masih muda dan kurang berpengalaman.

3.      Usia dari orang tua. Orang tua yang usianya masih muda cenderung memilih pola yang demokratis atau permisif dibandingkan mereka yang lanjut usia.

4.      Kursus-kursus. Orang dewasa telah mengikuti kursus persiapan perkawinan, kursus kesejahteraan keluarga atau kursus pemeliharaan anak akan lebih mengerti tentang anak dan kebutuhannya, sehingga cenderung menggunakan pola asuh demokratis.

5.      Jenis kelamin orang tua. Pada umumnya wanita lebih mengerti tentang anak oleh karena itu lebih demokratis terhadap anaknya dibanding pria.

6.      Status sosial ekonomi juga mempengaruhi orang tua dalam menggunakan pola sosialisasi mereka bagi anak-anaknya.

7.      Konsep peranan orang tua. Orang tua yang tradisional cenderung lebih menggunakan pola yang otoriter dibanding dengan orang tua yang lebih moderen.

8.      Jenis kelamin anak. Orang tua juga memberikan anak-anak mereka seseuai dengan jenis kelaminnya, misalnya terhadap anak perempuan, mereka harus menjaga lebih ketat sehingga menggunakan pola otoriter, sedangkan anak laki-laki cenderung lebih permisif atau demokratis, atau mungkin juga sebaliknya.

9.      Usia anak. Pada umumnya pola yang otoriter sering digunakan pada anak-anak kecil, karena mereka belum mengerti secara pasti mana yang baik dan mana yang buruk, sehingga orang tua lebih sering memaksa atau menekan.

10.  Kondisi anak. Bagi anak-anak yang agresif, lebih baik menggunakan pola sosialisasi yang otoriter, sedang anak-anak yang mudah merasa takut dan cemas lebih tepat digunakan pola yang demokratis.

2.1.2        Tugas-tugas keluarga (orang tua) dengan anak remaja.

            Menurut Josephson (2003) orang tua memerlukan perencanaan; sebuah strategi yang diterapkan dan realistis untuk membantu orang tua dalam mengembangkan sifat-sifat anak yaitu:

1.      Teach (mengajarkan)

Adalah mengajarkan kepada anak remaja tentang bagaimana beraklak baik. Aklak baik merupakan aspek penting kehidupan dan sukses serta sebagian hidup manusia bergantung pada bagian dalam dirinya, bukan pada harta, bukan pula pada kecantikan atau ketampanan luar, dengan menerapkan peraturan dasar kehidupan; sikap amanah atau layak dipercaya, rasa hormat, tanggung jawab, sikap adil, rasa peduli dan kasih sayang serta menjadi warga negara.

a.       Pujian efektif

           Kombinasi pujian, alasan dan konsekuensi positif, bertujuan agar suatu perilaku spesifik bertambah kuat.

Contoh: membantu membereskan meja makan tanpa disuruh.

b.      Pengajaran preventif

           Metode mencegah timbulnya kesulitan dengan cara mengajarkan remaja hal-hal apa saja yang harus dilakukan dan  meminta remaja berlatih sebelum mengalami situasi tertentu yang berpotensi menimbulkan masalah.

Conto: mengajarkan anak anda dengan cara menolak jika teman-temannya mendesak dia untuk minum-minuman keras.

c.       Pengejaran korektif

           Membantu mengidentifikasi perilaku remaja yang kurang baik dan membimbing remaja menuju perilaku yang lebih pantas.

Contoh: remaja yang menempuh pilihan yang buruk dan harus memperbaiki masalah yang timbul akibat pilihannya.

d.      Pengajaran kendali diri

           Membantu orang tua dan anak remaja untuk mengendalikan emosi dalam situasi ketika marah atau kacau.

2.      Enforce (memperkukuh)

Berusaha secara teratur dan terus menerus mencari kesempatan berbicara dengan anak remaja tentang karakter, kewajiban moral yang harus di hadapi atau memperkuat remaja dalam pilihannya dengan memberikan pujian mana kala ia menentukan pilihan yang bagus dan menjatuhkan komsekuensi jika pilihan tidak sesuai dengan prinsip karakter.

3.      Advocate (memperjuangkan)

Pantang mengendalikan keyakinan mengenai kekuatan akhlak untuk membuat hidup lebih baik.

Contoh: memberikan kaki pada keset sebelum anda masuk kerumah menunjukkan bahwa orang tua punya perhatian terhadap keadaan rumah dan anggota keluarga lainnya.

4.      Model (melakukan atau memberi contoh)

Dimana orang tua harus memberikan contoh sikap atau perilaku yang baik terhadap anaknya, apabila orang tua sengaja atau tidak sengaja pada saat berperilaku tidak baik anak tersebut bisa meniru perilaku orang tua tersebut.

   Menurut Sopian (2008) tugas-tugas orang tua meliputi :

a)      Menjadi pembicara dan pendengar yang baik.

Komunikasi yang baik adalah penting untuk mencapai tujuan-tujuan sebagaimana yang diharapkan. Apalagi dalam hubungan komunikasi antara orang tua dan anak. Karena itu, orang tua harus mampu menjadi seoarang pembicara (komunikator) sekaligus pendengar (komunikan) yang baik.

b)      Menciptakan suasana rumah yang menyenangkan.

c)      Kepribadian positif dan berhubungan kasih sayang.

Menunjukkan toleransi sehingga anak mengetahui bahwa orang tua dapat menyetujui keinginan anak. Usahakan mencari hal-hal yang dapat disetujui oleh orang tua dan anak.

d)     Menjadi teman pendamping bagi anak

Menjadi teman pendamping berarti menciptakan hubungan hangat dan akrab dengan anak. Hal ini bisa berjalan dengan baik apabila ada rasa saling percaya antara orang tua dengan anak, sebab secara langsung hal ini mempengaruhi nilai hubungan baik dan komunikasi antara kedua belah pihak.

e)      Memberi tuntutan dalam memberikan tugas pekerjaan pada anak.

Bekerja mempunyai arti besar bagi perkembangan kebutuhan dan harga diri. Kecakapan-kecakapan yang bisa dipelajari dari kebiasaan kerja antara lain: konsentrasi, ketekunan, ketepatan melatih bagaimana membuat keputusan dan ketepatan melatih untuk dapat berdiri sendiri tanpa pengawasan orang tua.

f)       Memberi sangsi atau hukuman pada anak

Seandainya anak tidak mengindakan perintah atau peraturan, berilah peringatan terlebih dahulu sebelum memberikan hukuman. Peringatan sebaiknya diberikan sekali atau dua kali, bila tidak diperhatikan berilah sangsi yang jelas. Jelas mengenai kesalahan yang dibuat maupun sangsi yang akan di berikan.

g)      Memberikan penghargaan dengan hadiah atau pujian.

Memberikan penghargaan dengan hadiah karena prestasi maupun keberhasilan atau ketekunannya dalam melakukan suatu tugas pekerjaan adalah sangat baik bila dilakukan. Sebab pemberian hadiah atau penghargaan dapat menimbulkan rasa bangga, kontrol diri, dan mempererat hubungan dengan anak. Pemberian hadiah tidak selalu dengan barang bisa juga dengan kata-kata pujian.